Dear Readers,

A big part of having HIV is the many tests and numbers that come along with the condition. Not being afraid/intimidated by them is the best advice I can give.
Make your HIV blood count numbers your friends. Trust me, you have no choice at days end. Embrace the numbers. They are there to help you, not hinder you.

At first it seems daunting to hear about Lymphocyte Markers, your CD4's and CD8's and the most important, your complete blood count and your personal HIV viral load.
Once you get your head around the numbers, the HIV journey becomes much easier.
My most recent test results are very comforting considering I've had HIV for eight years already.
Wow, it seems like yesterday I was told.
I feel so great about my HIV.
It's under control and I have time to help others.
What more could a man want?

My CD4's are 411 which is fantastic news. The higher the better when it comes to your CD4's.
My viral load is 18,409 which is also great news.

They don't even look at you until they reach 100,000 readers.
So for the moment I'll stay off the AVR drugs because my liver and kidneys are getting such a great break. If my viral load increases and reaches 100,000, then I'll start my drugs again. Or unless my doctor recommends it. I ALWAYS listen to my doctor.
I have to protect my organs which is another reason I stopped my drugs last year. I'm only 38 and I need them in good shape.
They needed a break from the pills.
I needed a break from the pills.
Indulgent , yes.

My HIV was undetectable for three years because I was on ARV drugs for four years. A handful of pills twice a day.
You NEVER forget you have HIV when you have to take so many pills every bloody day.
Use a condom and you will not have to do this peeps.
It's worth the time and small amount of effort. Trust me.

I stopped last year for a few personal reasons. And as a result of that decision, my HIV is now detectable again. I don't regret the pill holiday but I'm determined now to become undetectable again. I'm eating healthier and really trying to focus on my inner spirit. Yoga.

So when you get tested for HIV, expect these numbers. Every single person in the world who has HIV has these numbers to deal with.
So deal and be happy.
HAPPY.

HIV

HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus. This is the virus that causes AIDS. HIV is different from most other viruses because it attacks the immune system. The immune system gives our bodies the ability to fight infections. HIV finds and destroys a type of white blood cell (T cells or CD4 cells) that the immune system must have to fight disease.

For more information view our questions and answers on HIV science.

AIDS

Origin of HIV

Scientists identified a type of chimpanzee in West Africa as the source of HIV infection in humans. The virus most likely jumped to humans when humans hunted these chimpanzees for meat and came into contact with their infected blood. Over several years, the virus slowly spread across Africa and later into other parts of the world.

Brief History of HIV in the United States

HIV was first identified in the United States in 1981 after a number of gay men started getting sick with a rare type of cancer. It took several years for scientists to develop a test for the virus, to understand how HIV was transmitted between humans, and to determine what people could do to protect themselves.

In 2008, CDC adjusted its estimate of new HIV infections because of new technology developed by the agency. Before this time, CDC estimated there were roughly 40,000 new HIV infections each year in the United States. New results shows there were dramatic declines in the number of new HIV infections from a peak of about 130,000 in the mid 1980s to a low of roughly 50,000 in the early 1990s. Results also shows that new infections increased in the late 1990s, followed by a leveling off since 2000 at about 55,000 per year. In 2006, an estimated 56,300 individuals were infected with HIV.

AIDS cases began to fall dramatically in 1996, when new drugs became available. Today, more people than ever before are living with HIV/AIDS. CDC estimates that about 1 million people in the United States are living with HIV or AIDS. About one quarter of these people do not know that they are infected: not knowing puts them and others at risk.

How HIV Is and Is Not Transmitted

HIV is a fragile virus. It cannot live for very long outside the body. As a result, the virus is not transmitted through day-to-day activities such as shaking hands, hugging, or a casual kiss. You cannot become infected from a toilet seat, drinking fountain, doorknob, dishes, drinking glasses, food, or pets. You also cannot get HIV from mosquitoes.

HIV is primarily found in the blood, semen, or vaginal fluid of an infected person. HIV is transmitted in 3 main ways:

• Having sex (anal, vaginal, or oral) with someone infected with HIV
• Sharing needles and syringes with someone infected with HIV
• Being exposed (fetus or infant) to HIV before or during birth or through breast feeding

HIV also can be transmitted through blood infected with HIV. However, since 1985, all donated blood in the United States has been tested for HIV. Therefore, the risk for HIV infection through the transfusion of blood or blood products is extremely low. The U.S. blood supply is considered among the safest in the world.

Risk Factors for HIV Transmission

You may be at increased risk for infection if you have

• injected drugs or steroids, during which equipment (such as needles, syringes, cotton, water) and blood were shared with others

• had unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex (that is, sex without using condoms) with men who have sex with men, multiple partners, or anonymous partners

• exchanged sex for drugs or money

• been given a diagnosis of, or been treated for, hepatitis, tuberculosis (TB), or a sexually transmitted disease (STD) such as syphilis
• received a blood transfusion or clotting factor during 1978–1985

• had unprotected sex with someone who has any of the risk factors listed above

Preventing Transmission

Your risk of getting HIV or passing it to someone else depends on several things. Do you know what they are? You might want to talk to someone who knows about HIV. You can also do the following:

• Abstain from sex (do not have oral, anal, or vaginal sex) until you are in a relationship with only one person, are having sex with only each other, and each of you knows the other’s HIV status.
  • If both you and your partner have HIV, use condoms to prevent other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and possible infection with a different strain of HIV.
  • If only one of you has HIV, use a latex condom and lubricant every time you have sex.
• If you have, or plan to have, more than one sex partner, consider the following:
  • Get tested for HIV
    • If you are a man who has had sex with other men, get tested at least once a year.
    • If you are a woman who is planning to get pregnant or who is pregnant, get tested as soon as possible, before you have your baby.
  • Talk about HIV and other STDs with each partner before you have sex.
  • Learn as much as you can about each partner’s past behavior (sex and drug use), and consider the risks to your health before you have sex.
  • Ask your partners if they have recently been tested for HIV; encourage those who have not been tested to do so.
  • Use a latex condom and lubricant every time you have sex.
  • If you think you may have been exposed to another STD such as gonorrhea, syphilis, or Chlamydia trachomatis infection, get treatment. These diseases can increase your risk of getting HIV.
  • Get vaccinated against hepatitis B virus.
• Even if you think you have low risk for HIV infection, get tested whenever you have a regular medical check-up.
• Do not inject illicit drugs (drugs not prescribed by your doctor). You can get HIV through needles, syringes, and other works if they are contaminated with the blood of someone who has HIV. Drugs also cloud your mind, which may result in riskier sex.
• If you do inject drugs, do the following:
  • Use only clean needles, syringes, and other works.
  • Never share needles, syringes, or other works.
  • Be careful not to expose yourself to another person's blood.
  • Get tested for HIV test at least once a year.
  • Consider getting counseling and treatment for your drug use.
  • Get vaccinated against hepatitis A and B viruses.
• Do not have sex when you are taking drugs or drinking alcohol because being high can make you more likely to take risks.

To protect yourself, remember these ABCs:

A=Abstinence

B=Be Faithful

C=Condoms

Symptoms of HIV Infection

The only way to know whether you are infected is to be tested for HIV. You cannot rely on symptoms alone because many people who are infected with HIV do not have symptoms for many years. Someone can look and feel healthy but can still be infected. In fact, one quarter of the HIV-infected persons in the United States do not know that they are infected.

HIV Testing

Once HIV enters the body, the body starts to produce antibodies—substances the immune system creates after infection. Most HIV tests look for these antibodies rather than the virus itself. There are many different kinds of HIV tests, including rapid tests and home test kits. All HIV tests approved by the US government are very good at finding HIV.

Finding a Testing Site

Many places offer HIV testing: health departments, doctors' offices, hospitals, and sites specifically set up to provide HIV testing.

You can locate a testing site by visiting the CDC HIV testing database or by calling CDC-INFO (formerly the CDC National AIDS Hotline) at 1-800-CDC-INFO (1-800-232-4636) 24 Hours/Day. You do not have to give any personal information about yourself to use these services to find a testing site.

Additional Resources for Basic Information

• CDC Questions and Answers on HIV/AIDS
• CDC Fact Sheet: HIV and Its Transmission
• CDC Fact Sheet: HIV Type 2
• MedLine AIDS Tutorial (NLM)
• HIV Infection and AIDS: An Overview (NIH)
• The Evidence That HIV Causes AIDS (NIH)
• How HIV Causes AIDS (NIH)
• The Origin of HIV (NIH)
• Glossary of HIV/AIDS-Related Terms (AIDSInfo)

My name is Brian Shane Gorrell.

I'm a very proud HIV positive writer/blogger/advocate/activist and humanitarian. I was born in Thunder Bay, Canada but grew up in Sydney Australia. However I truly feel very much like a global citizen having lived all over Europe, America and Asia.

Looking back I’ve always been a guy with a very positive outlook, in spite of experiencing my share of ups and downs throughout life. In 2001, I was diagnosed with HIV which changed the course of my life.

I’m a deeply devoted vehicle for change. Being such a passionate communicator comes easy to me now. My objectives are lofty but achievable nonetheless. Assisting faithfully the HIV/AIDS advocacy community to help eliminate HIV/AIDS related STIGMA is a primary goal that is closest to my heart. However, my type of advocacy spreads over a wide range of issues. Nothing is off limits or out of bounds. I write free with no commercial ties or restraints which gets me into some trouble at times and I always prevail.

The truth always prevails.

I started my incredible blogging journey under the most dire of circumstances, when my Filipino ex lover Delfin DJ Montano fraudulently obtained my life savings (US70,000) leaving me with nothing and he eventually fled the Philippines for San Fransisco in disgrace. DJ tried to destroy my life even after having me kidnapped (with help from Celine Lopez) from my hotel room in Manila and enforced my interrogation in jail for a highly illegal amount of time. My story is somewhat epic and it's etched in everything immoral and corrupt that surrounded my ex boyfriend DJ Montano and that aspect of the Philippines HIGH Society which allowed him to commit crime after crime and walk away.......

NOT THIS TIME!

DJ Montano stole everything from me except my ability to write and warn others through my blogging campaign for the truth. If DJ can steal from an HIV positive man... who knows what he is capable of doing.

I'll never stop trying to recover my life savings because it's everything I worked so hard for on my farm in Australia.

My health is a priority now and always will be. DJ took away my security and walked away from the devastation he caused leaving me with nothing except worry and fear. It's just not fare.

Well over 30 million people have read my blog now and It's broken every blogging record in the Philippines including unique hits and page reads. No other blog has even come close to these incredible numbers which I'm very proud of.

The energy I put into it comes from my heart mind and soul. Over the last two years, I've slayed my enemies and haters and I've destroyed their theories with the truth.

This blog is my healer and ultimately brought me to this wonderful place where I find myself today.
I'm still fighting for justice. I'll never stop.
I'm a fierce fighter.

I understand the responsibilities of being a blogger-advocate. I know myself to be the voice for many people. People who may never be heard, or have their passions acknowledged without a conduit like a blog.

The feeling I have to help others is overwhelming at times. And so, through this blog, my journey continues…

Live Love and Laugh