14 May 2008

Swag Bags for Swagged Bags

The swag bag concept in Manila is out of control.

And there are many people to blame for this.
A few really bad apple's 'stick out' though.
And yes readers, Tina Tinio is one of the WORST offenders in Asia!

We all love free shit, for sure. I get that. It's a no brainer.
When we are young and can't afford.
But rich people should NEVER accept swag.
Even if you say its for the 'help'.
That just makes you super cheap.
Because THAT act in itself makes you very poor.
A different kind of poor.
But you are poor.
Trust me.

What girl doesn't want a bag full of new war paint?
What guy doesn't want a , well, I'm not sure what they put in swag bags for blokes.
But the men snatch them up too.
Men with swag bags look sad.
And I don't care if he's carrying it for his bitch.
OR his boyfriend.
It just looks so sad and pathetic.
Swag bags have to go. They are very passe now.
Catch up Manila!
Swag is an unfortunate bi-product of over zealous commerce (?) and well, pure greed really.
How much shit can one person need, want or have?
Its all rubbish anyways.

Swag should be
dead in the water.
Charity is the only way out the mess that is Manila.
Charity, charity, charity.
And more charity.
And then some more.

And because
most people are no longer happy, to just drink free champagne all night, and nibble some nosh, swag is running rampant. And it's steamrolling right over decency and Manila's common denominator. Which is it's people of course.

The gracious event host is expected to give you something on your way out the door. Some product or pamphlets. A gift certificate or some popcorn.
WTF? People didn't have to sniff around for that bag though. They were like lemmings off the cliff. Like the popcorn was actually gold nuggets encrusted with gems. It was a sad sight to see.
And popcorn is VERY bad for your digestive track.
Avoid popcorn.
Tip from my doctor.

In Manila, you have to bribe people, in order for them to show up to your dumb ass events.
DJ would always asked which photographers would be there. Celine would call ahead in order to prepare some of them, only minutes before arriving. They all do that. And she was always guaranteed click, flash, spotlight and print! I would hide behind a plant when this was all taking place. It was the same people every single time.
DJ would not go to an event, if the chance of being snapped was low or non existent.
I caught him once in the mirror making poses in our bathroom.
I asked him what on earth he was dong.
"I'm practicing my look for tonight", he said.
I almost died.

I swear if DJ didn't already have my money at that time, I would have left him VERY early on in the piece.
His true colors were oozing out from every pore.
He could not hide his greed from me.
Or his cocaine addiction.
It was everywhere and everything that he was.
His lack of morals and principles soon surfaced.
Gasping for air.
In his very polluted world.
Of course ,we would eventually clash.
I have morals, and DJ survives without them.
Battle royal.

I refuse all swag and always have.
Unless the swag, is a rum and coke of course (great weakness of mine).
Then, I'm all for swag, hehehe. Kidding. No I'm not.
DJ wanted to take my swag bag one night (for some moisturizer in it), but I said NO.
I do not want to be part of any free shit in a third world country.
I have always paid my way, and more.
Much more, as you all know.

Lets turn Swag into charity. No more swag.

I understand how it works. But the whole thing is wrong, wrong, wrong.
Even Celine snatches up swag. I've seen them all dash for their swag bags.
Its so very sad, to see bored wealthy people scooping up what could be donation to charity.
Like they need another product in their already BULGING bathrooms.
(vomit hear readers)

DJ would tremble as one of Tina's minions approached him ,with his swag bag (paycheck).
I always felt sorry for DJ when he behaved in this fashion.
His eye's would glaze over, like a deer in the headlights, as he peered inside his swag bag, to check out his new loot. So tragic to witness. But everyone around me thought it was fine.
Collective UN consciousness.
We had an argument about swag once and he promised me he would stop taking it.
But that's like a heroin junkie going without his hit.
Not going to happen.
And it didn't.

I watched a gift bag presentation celebration at Nami when I was first on holidays in Boracay. It truly offended my conscience. I felt for a second, I was I was in 1987 again.
And Gordon Gekko was going to appear. Greed is NOT good. Regardless of what Michael Douglas said in that movie.

I was almost ill ,when the parade of Filipino waiters came out to the sounds of trumpets with HUGE bags of swag.
A big show was made out of the delivery, of these MEGA bags to the GG.
A spotlight shone down on each as they were handed their big, brash , bulging bags of bribe.
Like a circus party for the cast of the show.

Swag bags should be replaced with a donation at each event. The press is already covering these stupid gatherings anyways. So don't take peeps, GIVE.
STOP TAKING SO MUCH! Its really gross and offensive to the millions of poor people who have nothing.
You live in a third world country, remember?

People like Tina Tinio and Tim Yap need to cool their jets with all this free shit.
It's one of the reasons they are both on my blog so often.
Because I don't like them for so many reasons.

Tina and Tim, you are both so despised for what you represent in the Philippines.
You both had an opportunity to help others and do much good.
But you both blew it.
Tim dear, some of your past articles, made my stomach turn mate.
You are a shameful greedy monster who needs to change.
Help yourself before you start helping children Tim.
Stop scamming people with this charity rubbish. Its a press release. Not charity mate.
Neither of you have ANY shame or REAL concept or understanding of the country you call home. Because if you did, you would do more to help others.

Because if you did Tina or Tim, you would be using your vast and varied talents to do MUCH more for the Philippines.
Tina, you will not feed the poor with lipstick dear.
And Tim dear, HOW MANY phones and watches do people need? UHG!
You are such a commercialized whore.
You both make me sick to my stomach.

Having a big expensive party to promote a body scrub is pathetic and crass.
Old world. Not new world. Its VERY third world, not first.
Evolve please , all you corporate directors and big wigs.
Get your heads out of your asses for a split second, and look around your country.
Its a fucking mess. A total disaster.
And you only think about product and its placement.

Any people who get together for the launch of a body scrub are pathetic.
For goodness sakes, people are suffering everywhere in Manila.
And many only care about obtaining a softer, more polished and buffed looking skin?
And these people have dressed up in their latest 'dresses' to be snapped for their families newspapers and magazines. They have done their last bumps of blow in the Hummer, and will most likely, at some point, genuflect at the alter of Khiels, or Shu, or Nokia or some other brand, if there is a camera around of course.
I swear, some of the photographers at these 'events' are fake, and just take pictures to make everyone feel special. I would not, put this past, some of the better Manila party planners.

Swag is now
taxed heavily around the world. Most western countries have now acted immediately to stop this torrential flow of free shit. Swag should be charity. I do not understand how these corporate companies in the Philippines allow this trend to continue.
No function or event in Manila should go ahead without a major link to a charity.
Every person should pay to enter every event.
People should buy their drinks.
Participate in the 'auction' for charity.
And every penny RAISED would go to charity.
And all the fancy people can go home knowing that AT LEAST THEY DID SOMETHING for others on that day.
Some people just do not care about the poor.

I have never accepted a swag bag. I find them humiliating to walk around with. An embarrassment.
People who carry them are screaming, "I only came here for this free junk, and the booze".
Get over these dumb bags filled with cheap rubbish.
Even if one hundred thousand pesos was raised at each event, could you imagine how much money would be raised in one year?
Bloody millions and millions, that's how much.
And the money raised could be used for so many things in and around the Philippines.
The rich have to raise this money. The government is busy.
They have to give away billions of their wealth. Many can afford it.
But are just so fucking cheap.

The practice of swag has almost completely dried up in America.
The Oscars have banned it. Every awards show has followed.
Celebrities handlers began refusing swag for their talent.
The swag tents vanished because celebrities were seen as vulgar and cheap when they were photographed in such tents. And they were right.

Robert Redford, changed the entire swag concept in America with the Sundance Film Festival.
He simple said no to ALL swag. And this guy is powerful. So people had to come up with 'clever alternative ways' to promote their films and merchandise. And they did.
There always has to be a leader.
Someone has to make a stand and say, "We are not having swag at this event", "Instead we are having a charity RAFFLE". A blind auction perhaps. Or an exit draw with tickets to sell.
The same thing should happen all over the world. And of course in the Philippines, which is after all, a part of the world.

Instead of swag, MANY corporations now give to charity. They realize now (finally) that people get a warm fuzzy feeling about their brand when it is attached to giving. Because they are donating and making a difference in the world.

As we all should.

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