01 October 2008

Remembrance of Things Gone Awry


I found this most wonderful Manila/Philippines society Blog.

I mean, this blog is jam packed full of all the best stories and wonderful comments too!
Anyone will learn fro it.
I mean I find it interesting and I don't know the history.
But I do now!
I mean, it's like a bloody book unto itself.
I'm so addicted.
My eye's were dancing when I read it.
You must read this blog if you are interested in all things L.A.V.I.S.H., glamorous with a capital 'G' and so much more great stuff peeps.

I've added this brilliant blog to my 'On the Radar" list.
The title of the Blog is Remembrance of Things Gone Awry.

just a funny entry/ sample from this GREAT Blog!

It seems Abductions are on the rise again. They are happening, not in Manila, but in prosperous provincial capitals. Recently, there was talk of the abduction of a pretty heiress in Bacolod City. But rather than dwell on the sad realities of Filipino existence and sink into depression, I would rather remember the comic situations from some real situations which I remember…

One of the best stories was the abduction of a rich executive. The perpetrators had no idea of his deteriorating health and of the hellish termagant he had for a wife. Furthermore, the couple had completely lost their love for each other and were only performing a romantic charade during family occasions…

“Twenty million o mamamatay siya.” demanded the abductors. “Ahahahahahah!!! Mamamatay naman talaga iyan eh. Libre pa!!! Bakit pa ako magbabayad ng twenty million eh malapit na naman iyan sa hukay, ah!!! Malala na ang diabetes niyan, “To Go” na iyan!!! Ahahahah!!!” mocked the wife. As soon as the abductors sensed that that was how far it went, they returned Rich Executive, lock, stock, and barrel…!!! *LOLOLSSZZZ!!!*

Then there was the abduction of the granddaughter of an old banking fortune. The perpetrators grossly underestimated the hardwired strength of character of the widowed mother, a consistent family trait which was responsible for the patriarch’s great business success in the first place. “Fifty million o mamatay siya.” the abductors demanded. “Ano??? Eh ang tatanga niyo pala!!! Saan naman ako magnanakaw ng fifty million???!!!

Anong akala niyo sa amin, mga Marcos???!!!” screamed Widowed Mother. That, from a woman who had successfully faced down Japanese soldiers as a 10 year old in World War II. The reality was that she had steeled herself for the inevitable and had decided to see it through no matter what.
“Eh di mamamatay siya.” the abductors threatened. “Eh di mamatay kung mamatay!!! Saan kami magnanakaw ng ganong klaseng pera??? Hoy mga gago, tumawag na lang kayo pag nakapag-isip-isip na kayo ng deretso, hah???!!!” *bangs phone* The abductors called again the next morning: “Misis, sige, pagbibigyan namin kayo. Forty million na lang. O mamamatay ang anak ninyo.” “Hoy, baligtarin natin ang istorya. Kung ako ang humingi ng pera na forty million mayroon ka bang ibubuga???” asked Widowed Mother. “Wala, Misis. Kaya nga hinihingan ka namin eh.” “Mga gago talaga kayo!!! Kung wala naman din kayong ibubuga na forty million eh di lalo na ako!!!” *bangs phone* The next morning, the perpetrators called again. Down to thirty million. No go. The next morning, down to twenty million. No go. The next morning, down to ten million. No go. Five million. No. One million. No. Five hundred thousand. Widowed Mother paid up in cash, immediately. The daughter was released at once. “Mabuti hindi mo sinabi sa mga dumakip sa iyo…” “Hindi po, Mommy.” replied the grateful daughter. “Good, ganyan mag-negosyo!!! Dapat tuso!!! Kaya mahal na mahal kita kahit AMPON ka lang!!!” *LOLOLOLSSSZZZZZ!!!*

But the best story yet was that of the handsome, philandering, Billionaire Husband who was taken after coming from yet another tryst with his newest mistress…
Long-suffering Wife was informed of her husband’s predicament. “Justice, justice!” she sighed to herself “At long last, justice!!!” The phone rang. Long-Suffering Wife lifted the receiver. “Mrs. ??? Mrs. ??? Nasa amin ang asawa ninyo!!!” threatened the abductors. Long-Suffering Wife serenely declared without any hesitation: “AY… WRONG NUMBER.” Then She went back to her manicure and pedicure…

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