29 October 2009


My life is a fucking mess today.
I have a Judas is my midst.
And her name is Joan.
A scheming, not to be trusted woman who does nothing but cause problems everywhere she lurks.

Nothing is going right and I really want to jump off a cliff...... after I push her off first.
The dirty has been done, and I'm covered in her crap.
Pretty crap.
I need a million gallons of water to feel clean again.
The tricky one will pay.

My Queen is headless now, like Marie.
A fake monarch eating too much cake.
A phony friend with a brittle backbone.
Nothing will ever be the same again.
I am healthier than all of you so don't kill me with your ignorance.

And Queen your Yaya will take half..... one day.
It's on the cards and you will regret being so easily led like a lame thirsty heifer.
Joan's ring will always be through your nose love.

And you'll have nothing but a yearning for our friendship because no one could ever love you more.
You will see that one day.
But you blew it bad.
And you are no longer the esteemed person I thought you were.
You failed me as a friend and you know it.

And when Joan takes everything, then I can call you stupid.
Like you called me stupid.
When I lost everything to the evil little Pinoy.

Stupid is as stupid does friend.

I'm a gay without his Queen.
Twenty years down the drain.
Poof, gone.
Are you happy wife/thief?
You only came here because you were fired for stealing from ABS-CBN!
YOU are the fraud Joan.
A complete fraud.
You stole from Cristine Reyes and you got caught!
My ex Queen is married to a thief.

I'm a gay without his one time cornerstone......
Now I will rely on myself and not a false heart like hers.

Tragedy is literally surrounding me as I feel the bitches gossiping and talking about me like they know me.

This is like a Shakespeare tragedy, only worse.
I can't recall a time when I have felt sadder than I do now.
The treachery is all around me.

I try so hard.
And yet I fail.
I am so depressed.
They play with me.
A sad sad tune.

It's been so difficult for me moving back to Canada after twenty five years in Australia.
Sometimes I think people just don't understand how hard it is to leave everything behind for a new beginning.
They don't take the time to examine the entire picture.
The entire journey.......

How can I hurt this much?
How can anyone hurt this much?
You failed me with your silence.
Our friendship is over now....
Dead like the feeling inside my heart for what you have done.
You don't deserve me friend.
You deserve your wife.
The trouble maker.
Mark my words Queen, you will regret what you've done.
Or rather not done

I don't have a family.
Just a mummy.
Some people will never know what it's like to grow up without a dad, or sisters and brothers.
It's just me.
By myself.
Me against the world.

It's not fair that I am being punished for being afraid.
I'm so afraid.

Afraid to be on my own.
Out there, on my own.

I know it well.
This is not a new thing for me.
The world is full of flaky people.

I will survive without my Queen.

And her court.
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