31 January 2011


My family

Hello there

Just been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you are doing. I really enjoyed the time we got to spend together in Thunder Bay. I know there is nothing I can say to take away the hurt that I have caused you in the past. I have no excuse for any of my actions or any of the words that I used to hurt you. All I can say is that I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I would like to really focus on the future and not dwell on the past. I just want you to know that I love you and that I really appreciate the man you have become. You are a survivor and you may not believe me when I say this but you truly are my hero. What you have lived through and how you have been able to survive it, to me is amazing. I am just sorry that I added to the struggles you have had to endure. But let's move on and not just be my brother but I want to be your friend. I Love You Brian.


Brother dear,

Your sweet thoughtful note had a profound effect on me for many reasons and I thank you for taking the time to express yourself in such a tender way. Any brother would be overwhelmed at receiving such a heart felt message from their sibling.

Having a brother is a real gift and I'm so lucky to have one of my own.

In Australia I always knew I had a brother back home.
I just never 'felt' it until now.

Due to irrational reactive mistakes I've made in the past, I now often wait a couple days before responding to something so rich and textured in it's composition as your message is.
As a writer, I can tell you that you posses a very nice natural honest flow in the way you communicate and your true self really lifts the script and the spirit of your intention.

To see this grounded oft humorous aspect shining through creates yet another electric conduit between us.
A passion for the word and for humour.

I was so impressed with you and your keen sense of humour which also emanates from your two girls whom I adore. I was a bit overwhelmed at first being back home as I'm not used to being around our family.
I only ever wanted you all to like me when I came home.
To accept me.
To love me.
To need me.

Growing up in Australia was wonderful brother but also very difficult without my blood family around me. Of course I know it was my decision to move overseas and I understand that.
But I want you to know that I paid a huge price for that decision in that I was so far from those exact people who grounded me upon this earth for twenty five years.
My family.

My life has been amazing brother but so has yours.
You have children and I do not.
You will have grandchildren and I will not.
So dear brother, I need you to lend me yours over the next ten or twenty years.
I need to be loved again after feeling unloved for far too long.
I'm so beyond happy that you and our sister have children.
For mummy and for myself.

Over the many years we have been apart, I've 'adopted' many people in a futile attempt to replace you, our sister and our father to help plug the massive voids your mutual absence's left in my young needy heart. But it turns out dear brother that nothing fills this type of void, other than the actual thing or time period which helped to create it.
It had to go full circle for us to realize that we need each other darling brother, so smart funny and sensitive,
Tear streaks upon your red cheeks.
I need you and I love you.
I'm also very very proud of you.
I'm in awe of what you have.
I'm beyond green with envy that you have your own family.

Being around you four was a soul binding experience for myself and I left Thunder Bay a whole person again.

I can't thank you enough for being there for me during the visit. I know I left feeling 100% healthier in my heart and my soul continues to benefit from our exchanges in our home town with mummy and sister.
I know our mummy is so happy to have had us all in her home for the pictures capturing that magical moment.
Our family reunion.

The pictures turned out exactly the way I wanted them brother.
Thank you so much for capturing that special moment for all of us in attendance.

Only together, you and I can make our future a dynamic one, blended together once again as brother and spirit mates.

Love Brian
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