24 March 2008

HA HA HA ....... You're Killing Me Mate

This morning I woke up to the sound of the Yahoo messenger buzz.
It was my filipina Queen from Canada. Bless her heart.

I dragged myself out of bed because I knew it was her.
I worship my girl. My best friend. My sister. My Queen.
Must not keep her waiting.
Rubbing my eye's, I squinted to make out her message on the screen.
Hahahahahahaha. I read it and laughed. First thing I did this morning was laugh.

Thank you filipina sister queen. I love you deeply.
My number one cheerleader.
Pom pom's and everything
Ciss, boom, bah!

Her partner works at the ABS-CBN in Manila. Very high up in the company.
Worked like a maniac to get there. REAL work Deej. You wouldn't know what that is though.
I'll explain it to you one day.

She heard from her partner that DJ was planning on suing me.
Apparently, that's what he is telling people.
But he has been telling people that since I left him. Since I started 'talking'.

When DJ?
How DJ?

Would you like me to send you some money so you can sue me?
Western Union dear?
Oh shit, I've already done that.

You are poor.
Your family is poor.
I have to assume this, as no one has paid your debt yet.
No one has done the correct thing by me.
Your family is also suffering because of you.
We are all suffering because of you.
You have humiliated us all.
And I have nothing left for you anyway's.

I am innocent in this.
I did everything right. Did EVERYTHING for you.
Guilty as sin.

I laughed until my jaw hurt when my Queen told me. I almost piddled in my pants.
It truly was the best way to wake up.
Thanks for the laughs babe.
Your the best girlfriend any man could have.

DJ.. suing me?


Being a great boyfriend?
Sue me because I gave you my savings?
Sue me becaue YOU almost gave me a nervous breakdown?
Sue me because you abandoned me after snatching what you wanted in the first place. My cashola.

You already stole all of my money mate.
You think you are going to sue me in my own country?
Are you all going to pool your money to take me down?
You and your BFF family?
Will she use her connections?
Doubt it.
I hear she is in hiding.

You dumb little man.
Silly love bandit.
Be VERY careful DJ.
I am about to go mental on your ass.
Interpol DJ.
You will not be able to travel anywhere.
My mother will testify.
Don't forget what she knows DJ.

I will have you convicted of International Money Transfer Fraud.
I will also have you charged with stealing my ATM card.
Remember that DJ.
Come on over here to Australia DJ, with your legal 'team'.
I will have YOU charged with multiple crimes.
I will not stop until I have my money back.
Or you in jail.

I'll put you over my knee, and smack your ass until its pink.
Because you have been very very naughty indeed.

Dude, your living in a fantasy land.
Put down the cocaine DJ.
You have ZERO authority here.
The Lopez family have already tried to close my blog.
They have no power here either.
They have no power anywhere, but their heads.
I hope you all get a VERY good lawyer.
Because they are very $$$$$$$$$ in a first world country.
Because this is my turf.
My country.
And we will kick your ass.
All over the fucking show!

This blog is legal in Australia.
My lawyer will EAT your lawyer.
And eventually shit him out.
Don't mess with me DJ.
Dont mess with me Lopez.
Give me back my money.
Because I am getting antsy every single day that goes by.

Where are you going to get the money to sue me DJ?
Is it my money?
Are you going to sue me with the money you stole from me?
You little brat.

Little troll.
Thieving little troll.

Your sister.
Accessory to a crime.
A big crime.
Sue me little DJ.
I'm ready for you and your pathetic family.
Your sister, who you had collect thousands of dollars from me.
Your mother who threatened me.
Bring it on.

I will always beat you DJ.
Because you are guilty.
And I am innocent.
Suck it.

Trust me DJ.
You will pay me back.
One day.
Sooner then you think.

Because of you DJ, I have had to go on a Government support pension for people with dissabilities.
Because you stole my money.
Celine watched you live 'high' on my savings.
I told her you stole it all.
She cared not. She could not care less about anything except her next line of coke.
Told me to grow up, get over it and fuck off.
Is this what you had in mind Celine?

What would you win if you were successful, which will never happen.
You have it all already.
Because you stole everything from me when you were supposed to love me.
Not destroy my soul.
Trample all over my life.
Discard me like trash.
You were supposed to LOVE ME.

I gave up everything for you.
And you stole EVERYTHING from me.
How does your mother sleep at night.
Her Christian heart knows you are guilty.
She knows you took my money.
Mothers know DJ.
Your not fooling anyone but yourself.
Your sister knows too.
Hi sis. Your brother stole my life savings.
Tell him to give it back.

Your family is suffering because of DJ.

You have done enough damage to me DJ.
My heart.
My soul.
My health.
My bank account.

All suffered because of you.
I have more proof DJ.
I will post it soon.
I will cook you slowly.

This blog will never go away.
For as long as you live, you will be in cyber space.
So anyone can read about you.
About us.
How does that feel?
Everyone will know about you because of me.
I am very proud of myself.

My lawyer will contact your tax department.
He is going to go ape ass crazy on your half-ass if you mess with me.

I hope you declared all the money from Western Union.
Where did that money come from DJ?
Almost three million peso's you stole from me.

And you will pay it back.

Are you still working for the STAR DJ?
Can't wait for your next article.
Do you want me to write it for you mate?

70,000 dollars.
Western Union please.

************I want to end this post with a funny. A reader sent it to me this morning.
It also made me laugh.

An airliner passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, "Captain Marvin has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground." She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up b**ch."
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