21 May 2008


Good morning, dear readers.

Soozyhopper has been mentioned hundreds of times in the blog's comments section.

Who is she, readers?

Who shut Soozyhopper down?

Who was Soozyhopper?


Who is Soozyhopper?
ABS-CBN Publishing


If you’ve been running through the gamut of the metro’s polite society, I am almost certain that you’ve heard its name whispered in frighteningly clandestine conversations. Who is she? Who is he? Or who is it? Why does it do what it does? Who is Soozyhopper?

Soozyhopper, an avatar of society’s Beelzebub, which manifested itself several months back as an incognito blogging socialite, still remains a hot topic albeit in hushed whispers along the cold corridors of Manila’s elite get-togethers. Its mysterious appearance took many by surprise as it chronicled webpages upon webpages of malicious gossip about the Philippines’ supposed high society—only to suddenly vanish in a flash of fire and brimstone.

This elusive Soozyhopper and the web of intrigues it has painstakingly spun have prompted a rude awaking in society. From accusations of halitosis to surreptitious affairs, its venomous words have been the talk of the town.

Nonetheless, in my opinion, what it did was uncalled for and despicable!

The emergence of society’s worst nightmare, Soozyhopper, is a byproduct of years of societal toxins festering, free of checks and balances.

On several occasions querying society figures courteously approached me inquiring if I was it—if I was Soozyhopper. Though feeling utterly disrespected, I shrugged-off their assertions civilly because to me, they were people who really didn’t matter. This was until people, who mattered, like the revered Thelma San Juan, asked me the same question? Dumb-founded by her query, I decided to write about my sentiments and put these accusations to rest, once and for all.

Before Soozyhopper’s online mud slinging of societal figures and celebrities, I had an unfortunate incident with some partyphiles at a Greenbelt bar. Inebriation—an accepted weakness of mine but in no way an excuse for inappropriate behavior—has more than once put me in awkward situations. I will not go into detail about what happened that fateful evening but my mistake there was stepping out of Mezze (a place dear to me that knew how to deal with such appalling situations) and exposing myself to who might have been Soozyhopper’s alter egos.

A row ensued, which I regret. Nevertheless, I apologized to high heavens through Miguel Rosales who I consider a fine chap and a friend. In less than a week after that untoward incident, Soozyhopper reared its ugly head, spewing hateful words about the same people I bumped into that fateful night. Talk about bad timing! Though logic dictates that I couldn’t have concocted a blog in less than a week, some would like to believe me to be that vile creature out to exact revenge, but dearies, I might be a lot of things but I could never be it!

Knowing who Soozyhopper is should be as easy as pie taking into account the pecuniary capability of its victims. Yet, more important than knowing the façade behind it, we should all know why it evolved and came into being.

Take for example the recent hullabaloo, which spattered last week’s society pages. The genuine humanitarian concerns of a heaven-sent royalty, Prince Andrea Casiraghi, were almost marred by the pretenses of social poseurs who seemed more concerned with rubbing elbows and feeding their vanities than genuine munificence. Good thing, the wise Prince’s blanket rejection of all mundane society invitations is a repudiation of these societal ills bread by self-proclaimed society arbiters.

It is this abominable attitude that creates superficial devils who spitefully gloat in their Prada shoes rather than altruistic angels who would seek to rectify societal ills.

Was Soozyhopper borne of such loathsome sentiment or has it merely contributed to such contemptible superficiality? Whatever the case might be, people are still left wondering who this enigma really is and the finger pointing has yet to end. To be frank, while I am unafraid of the person or persons behind this cyber-personality, the whole conundrum has exhausted my last straw.

I think we all know the catalysts that could bring such a monstrosity into life. Those who fear Soozyhopper are most likely the very same people perpetrating its existence as well as several wannabe-Soozyhoppers to come.

For in the final analysis, we are a mere précis of all the people we are with. And with the three best friends I had for the past decade: Nonong (Dero) Pedero, Raul Teehankee and Ed Lejano, there is no way in hell I could be it.

Finally, behind all the political upheavals, oil-spills, volcanic eruptions and what I’ll be eating for dinner tomorrow, who really cares?

May Soozyhopper come out in the open or rest in urban legend peace!

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