05 May 2008

Poor as Paupers but HOT as Hell at Gasthof!

My e mail has been burning red hot today.
Some fascinating news has come to my attention.
But I believe I will let the Manila papers break this one though.
It could be that big readers.
It does pay to have real insiders.

I am looking forward to the radio show on Wednesday.
Although Mojo won't be there,
the hottie will be back.
I can't wait to chat with MoTwister again.
And Grace (secret boy on girl crush), is gorgeous.
We have soooooo much to catch up on.
This week will be great on the blog.

Thanks MEN, for these excellent photos of your Boracay weekend.
They warmed my cockles.
Your hearts are so rich.
And that is what's important.
Regardless of what Rauly and Olive say!
I love the tag line.

This coming weekend, beautiful Boracay will be hosting the infamous Gucci Gang.
I understand they will be staying at The Tides, which is, of course part owned by Papa Gucci himself. Tiny Tim Yappity Yap Yap Yap.

How are you ever going to make money Tim, when you keep giving your rooms away for free?
Because we know the GG don't pay.
Ex deals again?
Its a thrill for all of them to get things for nothing.
Especially Celine, and she HAS money, so what the hell is her excuse?
Greedy bitch.
More, more, more and even more.
Gimme more!!!

The Tides Hotel really sucks.
Like Tim does, on the beautiful sands of Boracay's beaches.
And this is coming from someone who knows both very well.

Many real locals (and peeps in the know) on Boracay would never go to The Tides. Ever.
Unlike Hey Jude or Juice Bar which are packed out always.
And brilliant FUN!

I have heard so many people complain about The Tides Hotel when I lived on Boracay.
Its way too expensive, and they charge you to breath their air.
It's known as the Korean Hotel. For some reason, the Koreans LOVE it there.
And when the GG are in residence there, its just a huge coke box.
The interior is so boring and they have used nasty tube lighting between each step on the upper 'terrace'.
I know of several designers from overseas, that could not help but comment on the cheap finishes and cost cutting nightmares that are evident everywhere.
Incredibly cheap and tacky.
Not unlike Yap himself.
Just a huge waste of space. With crooked teeth.
The rooms are so tiny at his 'fauxtel', its shocking.
And the location is a joke.
And good luck getting hot water.

I know of so many people who have checked out of that hotel and moved to another after their first night.
Its a rip- off hotel.
Everyone knows it.
But Tiny Tim flies in his GG and tries desperately to bring some shine to his very dull hotel.

When The Tides opened on Boracay, it was a joke.
They ignored the locals and flew in the flash trash.
I was invited, but stayed away.
We all did.
People only flock to Tim's dump for the freebies.
Same with Tina Tinio.
If this enormous whale didn't give away so much swag and free shit,
people would avoid her like carbs.
Because Tina is so offensive.
They all are.
Will DJ be there Tim?
I can't wait to find out.

I would love my readers on Boracay to keep their eye's wide open for any of the GG members and cling ons this weekend. Take a snap and send it to me... and YOU will get a VERY special prize! Any picture of them snorting cocaine, will get a personal visit from yours truly.

Bless your Tuesday comrades.

Embarrassment to the Philippines.
The whole bunch of them.

How much charity is involved with this weekend Tim?
How much will your group be raising this weekend Tina?
Charity Tim.
You are all so privileged.
What are you doing to help?

Watch out GG revellers.
There are people everywhere on Boracay watching.
So behave.

Aurora Montano has been up to her old tricks again.
More about DJ's dear old mother tomorrow.
She can run, but she can't hide.
From this guy!

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