19 July 2008

Nine Lives

1. Happy birthday to my precious baby girl Siesta who turns one today. Words can't describe how this amazing Golden Retriever puppy touched my life. The night I thought about ending it, I stepped on her foot by accident and she yelped. I only thought of her for the next three hours which got me to bed and to sleep, with her nuzzled up beside me. The next day I felt better knowing I was not alone. Thank you dear sweet Nina for giving me the most precious dog you could have.
When my life crumbled and fell apart, Siesta really saved me. Looking into her eyes reminded me that life was so very precious and so worth living. Thank you precious Siesta. You will never know just how important you were to me. Siesta is now in the care of a VERY special family in the Philippines. My boyfriends family. Tears.

2. I've just been informed via e mail that DJ Montano has ripped off yet another man. Now this person was mentioned in the very beginning of my blog. I will not say his name again because he has been hurt enough by his short fling with the 'very charming' DJ Montano. We are brothers in arms now, us too and I will contact him tomorrow to get the details. A mate of his contacted me and told me just today. Although he did not lose 70,000 dollars, he still lost money. And for this, he has my sympathy.

3.My BBC special will go to air in eight days. My producer will make sure I get a wonderful version for the blog. I just can't believe that millions of people will see me soon on television. I suspect this blog will explode again soon. I'm preparing. The program deals with the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. Now you see why I am so disturbed with this issue, hence the attention it's receiving on the blog, and will continue to receive until I see something being done about it on the Philippines entertainment industry. HOW long will the papers avoid this story? It only confirms what I've been saying all along about the truth having a way of disappearing between the front page and the back.

4. Since my post on Tim Yap and his most wonderful achievement with his homophobia incident, literally dozens of people have written to me, expressing their overwhelming happiness with what he's done. I have to express one more time how incredible I think it is. MANY people admire Tim and look up to him for many reasons. And I too will always look at him differently now. Not only because he fought back which is brilliant, but because he has given hope to thousands of people who may have already experienced this vicious type of discrimination, and also for the self esteem of strangers that he will ultimately affect. I will thank him again on behalf of all those people who do not have the power that he does when it comes time to affect change. I know Tim has a very good heart and this mini battle that he waged and won is both inspiring to me and to literally thousands of other people who thought they did NOT have a voice. Great job Tim. Many people are happy now and many more feel empowered because of what you have done. Cheers mate. Homophobia is WRONG!

5.This week on the blog, we'll be examining the topic of 'self esteem'. Many people in the Philippines and around the world suffer from a lack of self esteem for one reason or another.
Poverty, appearance, peer pressure problems or just a simple problem of not 'fitting in'. And I can help. I know I can. And I will. Having a great sense of self is the magic key which unlocks the door to a good life. But many things can snatch it away all to easily. Dj Montano took mine away for a long while, but Boracay gave it back to me. My friends on Boracay literally brought me back from the brink of despair. I won't mention them by name on the blog because my life on Boracay was and remains very protected from the blog. It was the best year of my life and the worst. Boracay is the best place in the world to heal from tragedy. I love my many beautiful friends there and chat with them on facebook everyday. Bless Boracay and all those who live on the island. I will never be the same for having lived there. No, NOT like a King at all, as Benjie Laurel falsely stated on Korina's show. I lived the same way as all my friends did. Normally and humbly. Boracay was good to me and I was good to Boracay as well.

6. I have started my new Multiply site. I love this Multiply thing. The blog is everywhere now. On many different sites around the world. I've had some help achieving this which I'm MOST grateful for. My girl knows I love her for her wonderful assistance. Multipy is so creative and allows you to do really special things. I've found so many wonderful sites to explore since signing up. Filipinos generally are soooooo brilliant, funny,talented and very smart. Look for me if you're on Multiply. I've just started so its not as flash as some others and I have no friends yet. With my facebook which I ADORE , friendster , Multiply AND my blog, I don't know where I find the time. I've added these links to my list. So join me everywhere and lets have some fun. When my job starts soon, I'm not sure how sane I will remain with all of my web obligations. But I do love being in touch with what's going on. I LOVE my new Multiply site and will soon move all of my video blogs over. Speaking of video blogs, I've not done one for a while, so stay tuned. Since yesterday, about two hundred people have written and asked me where Tim Yaps blog is (uhg). Its on Multiply peeps and its called 'I am Tim Yap'. There you go, I'm not a monster after all. I won't put up a link (that would be going to far, hahahaha), but that's where he is.

7.This upcoming week, we will also be exploring some very personnel stories from people in Manila and the Philippines with HIV. I am currently counselling a young man who only found out last week that he was HIV positive. He thought only 'bottoms' caught HIV. He also thought Asians rarely got HIV, when in fact their numbers are rising dramatically. Since starting this blog, over four hundred people have reached out to me for help with their situation. And many more anonymous e mails. I write daily to men AND woman with HIV. I've not been talking about it too much on the blog, well because its a VERY sensitive topic when you have the information I have. Privacy is most paramount when you discuss this disease. I just want all of my HIV positive friends to know that I love you and I'm only a mouse click away. I have time for anyone who needs my help.

8. My dream is to start an advice column one day. And if the Inquirer was smart, it would hire me! I get so many people writing to me asking for help and advice. And I never turn away a single soul. I may not have every answer you need, but I will never walk away from your issue until I am satisfied that I've made a difference in your life. The last time I turned my YM messenger on, hundreds of people were trying to buzz me, so I've had to retire that for a while. Please understand dear readers that I read hundreds of e mails every day. I TRY to respond to as many as I can. I'm still answering e mails from last month, so be patient with me please. I know you understand.

9.Next week I'll be posting the essay I wrote for Expat Traveller. I am told the issue was a HUGE hit. I'm so proud of this article because I don't mention DJ one single time. It just shows that my story is more then him and what he took from me. Not just money, but many other things as well. But they're almost fully back where they belong. Its amazing how our hearts and minds heal after such a devastating series of events.

I'm loving life like I never thought I would again.
I'm happy and feeling super swell. I will see my mummy soon which is the greatest thing ever.
We've recently had a tremendous loss in our family, and I need to get home.
Yes, I'm still panicking about my future, but my past is making more sense every single day.
So let love be your sunshine,
and get an awesome tan.
But please apply block.

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