OFF WITH HER HEAD!

My life is a fucking mess today.
I have a Judas is my midst.
And her name is Joan.
A scheming, not to be trusted woman who does nothing but cause problems everywhere she lurks.

Nothing is going right and I really want to jump off a cliff...... after I push her off first.
The dirty has been done, and I'm covered in her crap.
Pretty crap.
I need a million gallons of water to feel clean again.
The tricky one will pay.

My Queen is headless now, like Marie.
A fake monarch eating too much cake.
A phony friend with a brittle backbone.
Nothing will ever be the same again.
Friend.
I am healthier than all of you so don't kill me with your ignorance.

And Queen your Yaya will take half..... one day.
It's on the cards and you will regret being so easily led like a lame thirsty heifer.
Joan's ring will always be through your nose love.

And you'll have nothing but a yearning for our friendship because no one could ever love you more.
You will see that one day.
But you blew it bad.
And you are no longer the esteemed person I thought you were.
You failed me as a friend and you know it.

And when Joan takes everything, then I can call you stupid.
Like you called me stupid.
When I lost everything to the evil little Pinoy.

Stupid is as stupid does friend.
___________________

I'm a gay without his Queen.
Twenty years down the drain.
Poof, gone.
Are you happy wife/thief?
You only came here because you were fired for stealing from ABS-CBN!
YOU are the fraud Joan.
A complete fraud.
You stole from Cristine Reyes and you got caught!
My ex Queen is married to a thief.

I'm a gay without his one time cornerstone......
Now I will rely on myself and not a false heart like hers.

Tragedy is literally surrounding me as I feel the bitches gossiping and talking about me like they know me.

This is like a Shakespeare tragedy, only worse.
I can't recall a time when I have felt sadder than I do now.
The treachery is all around me.

I try so hard.
And yet I fail.
I am so depressed.
They play with me.
A sad sad tune.

It's been so difficult for me moving back to Canada after twenty five years in Australia.
Sometimes I think people just don't understand how hard it is to leave everything behind for a new beginning.
They don't take the time to examine the entire picture.
The entire journey.......

How can I hurt this much?
How can anyone hurt this much?
You failed me with your silence.
Our friendship is over now....
Dead like the feeling inside my heart for what you have done.
You don't deserve me friend.
You deserve your wife.
The trouble maker.
Mark my words Queen, you will regret what you've done.
Or rather not done


I don't have a family.
Just a mummy.
Some people will never know what it's like to grow up without a dad, or sisters and brothers.
It's just me.
By myself.
Me against the world.

It's not fair that I am being punished for being afraid.
I'm so afraid.

Afraid to be on my own.
Out there, on my own.
Alone.

Abandoned?
I know it well.
This is not a new thing for me.
The world is full of flaky people.

I will survive without my Queen.

And her court.

Mathew's Victory

l to r-Mathew's parents Judy and Dennis Shepard

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/28/hate-crimes-bill-to-be-si_n_336883.html

,the late Mathew Shepard(RIP) and the incredible moment in Washington when President Barack Obama signed the new anti hate crime legislation

-President Obama signed major civil rights legislation on Wednesday, making it a federal hate crime to assault people based on sexual orientation, gender and gender identity. The new measure expands the the scope of a 1968 law that applies to people attacked because of their race, religion or national origin. The U.S. Justice Department will have expanded authority to prosecute such crimes when local authorities don't.

The provision, called the Matthew Shepard & James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. It is named after Matthew Shepard, a gay college student tortured and killed in 1998, and James Byrd Jr., a black man who was chained to a pickup truck and dragged to his death the same year.

Huffingtonpost(click) and Unfinishedlivesblog.com

Dear Readers,

If you're a gay man you should already know about Mathew Shepard's incredible story.
If you don't know about Mathew.... then please read about the epic struggle his most loving parents waged to get this ground breaking anti hate legislation through the American political system. Any person who has been murdered for being a homosexual makes me want to cry a million tears. Gay men all over the world are tortured and killed just for being gay. This legislation is just the first step to lifting Mathews honor, beauty and legacy closer to the clouds where he resides now. I love you Mathew like millions of people love you all over the world. When you died, I cried. Your parents are angels who continue to protect your spirit here on earth. I would take ten years off my life if only to give them to you Mathew. I want to cry just thinking about the way you were murdered. We love you Mathew. You're a hero to us. And your parents Judy and Dennis are the parents of the decade if you ask me.

I Love Fall

image courtesy of Chris Dustin @ http://planetdusty.com/photo/index.php
0r http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrisdustin/4069509151/sizes/l/

Winner Denied?

Denied- Jethro Cuenca Patalinghug is distressed

Let's call it "Sour Graping" just to mock the very idea... - by Jethro Cuenca Patalinghug

I just talked to the organizers and they told me they reviewed the results and it was really like that... and so I said okay I guess I have to accept it. Then they started offering that they will actually do some projects with me, produce me or something so I don't have to worry. Out of curiosity I asked how the scoring went, they said I was 4th and was 1.3 behind getting a place, and so I ask how did I get a .3 when the scaling was 1-5, 1 being the most preferred and and 5 the least preferred.
The other organizer said the scoring from the pre-pageant contributed, but from what I understood it was back to zero during the top 8 so I questioned it, she said that it did contribute to the final score, I insisted I thought it was clearly explained to us that it was back to zero, then she said there are scores from the pre-pageant that contributed, so I asked "like what?", and she couldn't answer so she referred to the score they had in hand, and now my score suddenly turned into the 3.3 figure, the other organizer tried to help explain and said they could only intervene if there was a tie, I said we were not talking about a tie, no tie happened, we were talking about the final five ranking, and then he tried to explain they were only basing it on paper. I said I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid I didn't get a clear explanation from you...the conversation ended shortly as I thanked them for the good experience that I had.

As much as I wanted to help them sort out the truth, it did not come out...I'm sorry, I was ready to settle things out and even submit myself to whatever decisions they had, grant that I knew the truth. I perfectly understand their priorities, there are future projects at stake, thus I was willing to help and forget about getting what was rightfully mine. But much to my disappointment, I did not get an honest and clear explanation...

I have always been a fighter of the truth, its in my blood, my mom instilled it in me. Sorry I will not let this pass... Hopefully the video of the pageant will speak for itself...

It doesn't end here, I am still very thankful because I had a wonderful experience, I think that despite what happened I was still able to achieve my goal - to spread the message of diversity in the Philippines. I think I have contributed, in my own little way, to counter the negative judgment put upon gay people in this unique society which practically works on class system, "capitalism" and sometimes homophobia.

To Mr. Gay World Philippines... I truly wish you the best

P.S.
Thank you Boy Abunda for reassuring me during our private talk and telling me I had the better hand in the competition. Thank you Melo for being one of the judges and for telling me I was number one in your tally. Thank you Raymond Lee for being one of the judges and telling me the same thing. Thank you Joel Cruz for also being one of judges and choosing me to get your special award. Most importantly Thank you Direk Ronald Carballo for that hug which comforted me, thank you for standing up for me even for that slight moment and telling me there might have been a technical error and that the ranking might have been turned upside down. Thank you to the rest of the judges who also thought I deserved the title...thank you
______________________

What went wrong?

Mini Me

Hey, this still works for me sometimes.....

(note the cool dog in this clip.. ps I LOVE DOGS)

Positivism Issue 3

http://www.positivism.ph
(click to link)

Boys Do Cry

Are boys the best actors in the world or what?

I should know because I still do that.

And it usually works. hehehehe

I Am

Dear Readers,

Personally I believe Dzhun de Leon is a gifted talent who should be enjoyed by more people all over the world.

For myself, poetry is like some anti depressants in a bottle.
Most times poems alone can’t do all the heavy soul lifting, but poems can certainly supplement a chilly heart or a restless fidgety mind in our cyber confined prison like worlds.
Every ten poems are like a pill.

If you take anti depressants, then you should try reading positive uplifting poetry or any poetry for that matter.
I’m no doctor, but it does wonders for me, helping to keep me sharp and up to date with poets, artists and other creative people.

I’m keen to follow their own imaginations as they move through time over their own jagged rough terrains or even their gentle sweeping wild flower covered slopes. For myself, it’s escapism. For many writers I believe, it’s creative therapy. It’s a “win, win” if you want my opinion.

When I absorb poetry, one only has to focus and possess a true desire to extrapolate sensible tactile gifts from the word strings of others. Reading poems can be like chanting in a way whereas you must be totally devoted and unashamed to conjure up certain reactions and thoughts. I like to say I eat poems as opposed to reading them.
I truly devour them.
Poetry is like a religion to me and all religions are supposed to be interpreted differently by each person wanting to explore them.
I find poetry very comforting especially when you have found a poet (or your poet finds you) who supplies his readers with a new poem nearly every week.
Dzhun's writings had a huge impact on me from the start in that they showed me so much calmness combined with fortitude and an endless word passion landscape from his sharp positive thought provoking poems.

Human beings are so deep and emotional on many different levels just like words in a row can be. I see that Dzhun is able to channel the collective energy of humanity through his consistent artistic output and his personal triumphs and achievements.

Societies can impasse great knowledge onto their masses all the while manipulating our minds and causing much distress for all the sensitive souls.
To restore ones batteries from the constant barrage takes effort and reading poetry has been a big help to me.
__________________

I Am by Dzhun de Leon

This is me...
I am the non-existent space between,
I can get through your filthy skin,
Creeping, crawling, slowly penetrating.

This is me...
Touch me and I wouldn't melt.
And for all the things you said you've never felt,
I'm the great insensitive that's what it means.

This is me...
The vanguard recipient of pain,
Find me crying, screaming in vain,
Somebody free me from my helpless reign.

This is me...
A ruptured glass in framed metal,
The thing that holds my pieces together,
Has nothing but support to offer.

This is me...
I would sugarcoat my better past,
Contend with it but doesn't last,
I am a sorrow-dwelling enthusiast.

I am...
The intriguing abstract of Picasso,
The unique brushstroke of Van Gogh,
The missing eyebrow of Leonardo.

I am...
The awkwardness after a sarcastic laugh,
The unfunny host for the evening,
The stupid joke that was left hanging.

I am...
The sweet revenge of an ardent killer,
The sounding silence of a guilty face,
A dirty deed without a trace.

I am...
Your hot temper in the scorching summer,
The frostbite courtesy of cruel winter,
The springs freshly-surfaced intruder.

Now keep your distance for I could be your fall,
Guised by chipping white paints I'm a dirty wall,
With proud red letters that quietly bawl,
"This is me! The sum of it all."

The Gayest Homophobe

Did Scientology Cure Tom Cruise of his Homosexuality?

We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth... He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, "You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?" I mean, his lingo was larded with the most... There was no basis for it. It was like, "It's a nice day, I'm glad there are no gay people standing here." Very, very strange. Years and years later when people started to torment him with that, I used to think "God, that's really fitting, because he tormented a lot of people as a 20-year-old."

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/21/bronson-pinchot-bette-mid_n_328319.html

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/21/bronson-pinchot-bette-mid_n_328319.html

- Bronson Pinchot

Dear Readers,

Tom Cruise is famous for his rampant 'on set' homophobia and this interview with Bronson Pinchot only proves it further.
I've always assumed Cruise was certifiably crazy, not only because of his whacked out Scientology cult or the fact that he's a misogynist of the highest order. I also dislike Cruise's flakiness and his agenda frightens me.
His body is shaped like an avocado.

FAIL!

Tom Cruise is a cruel homophobic 'actor'.

Read the entire article below.
Huffingtonpost- Tom Cruise Homophobia

More Shame at Ralph Lauren

Photoshopdisasters has published what they claim is another freakishly retouched Ralph Lauren ad. The picture of model Valentina Zelyaeva wearing all gray -- and suffering from a bad case of pelvis-smaller-than-head-syndrome -- was found in a window display in Sydney, Australia.

Ralph Lauren hasn't commented on the new photo.

sourced at Huffington Post

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/16/ralph-lauren-retouches-an_n_323674.html

Dear Ralph (in the toilet like the model) Lauren,

This is gross.
What happened to you Ralph?
Young girls will die because of these sick pictures that YOUR advertising idiots conjured up.
But you Ralph will make money from the controversy.
It's so sickening, like this image.

FAIL!

SHAME SHAME SHAME.

Hermes Honcho Homeless?

Karin (NOT Karen, it's Ka-rin) Upton Baker and best 'pal' and talented social climber/conquerer Deborah Hutton


Trophy...part of the home's interior; and Karin Upton Baker, right.

Home at risk over $18m
VANDA CARSON AND ANDREW HORNERY-Sydney Morning Herald
October 17, 2009
SMH Karin Upton Baker 18 Million Debt (click to link)

SOCIETY doyenne and Sydney style queen Karin Upton Baker appears to have it all - the fur coats, sparkling diamonds, glamorous supermodel friends and the ultimate trophy home overlooking the harbour.

But she may soon lose the lot over an $18 million debt.

Ms Upton Baker is fighting attempts to ''forcibly evict'' her family from one of Sydney's most glamorous pieds-a-terre - which she hopes to sell for $29.5 million - after not paying the mortgage since April.

Ms Upton Baker, who earns $360,000 a year as managing director in Australia of Hermes, the French luxury goods house, told the NSW Supreme Court she was ''reduced to tears at her husband's insistence she sign'' mortgage documents ''under threat that if she did not do so the family would 'lose everything'.''

She argues that her husband, developer Gary Baker, ''enjoyed such an ascendancy over'' her that she could not ''make any worthwhile judgment'' over the $18 million worth of mortgages.

Ms Upton Baker argues that Perpetual Trustee and Challenger Managed Investments should not be able to foreclose because the mortgages were ''unjust'' and ''obtained as a result of undue influence or pressure''.

She took out a $6 million mortgage with Perpetual to finance her husband's development of six apartments at Bellevue Hill. The rest was secured against four apartments he was developing at Bondi Beach. Two of these are now in the control of receivers.

Mr Baker said the banks should not foreclose because he had a contract to sell the property. ''Karin offered to pay out the mortgage fund with an approved interim refinance facility until settlement on the sale can be completed,'' he said.

Exit penalties added at the last minute meant the refinancing amount was too little. A Challenger spokesman said Mr Baker's comments were incorrect. ''The contract of sale failed to settle five months ago in May and the loans remain in arrears. None of the borrower's attempts to refinance or sell the property have succeeded.'' He said the pair had always known the full payout figure and had made no attempt to pay that amount.

Justice Cliff Hoeben - who has been asked by the lenders to give them summary judgment for possession of the apartment - told the court on October 1 he was not persuaded there was a defence. ''From what I can see in the affidavit, [Ms Upton Baker] appears to be an astute, aware businesswoman,'' he said.

The case returns to court on October 26.

Dear readers,

Although I'm living overseas, I'm still very interested in a handful of people back home in Oz.
And Karin Upton Baker is one of them, so when I opened my e mail from a best friend, I was thrilled.
An article about Karin.

I worked for Karin Upton Baker while I careered in Sydney and rather enjoyed her. I loved creating and tending to her domestic orchid installations , Christmas decorations and party preparations wherever and whenever HRH needed some blooms.

Karin could have made a great princess in another world.

She's the type of woman who would and could adapt easily, as long as loads of cash was abound.
This woman is UBER POSH and SUPER LOVES her shit.

Karin is classy "light" which is good considering she's from zero money and climbed/crawled her way on top of Kerry ('s) editor heap having 'migrated' into the city from the 'mucho outer' suburbs. Once I met some of her family and thought to myself, "Why are they so being snobby?"
I guess when you're in her presence, it rubs off. I always felt like a peasant around Karin even though I would wear my finest clothes whenever I would do a home visit. I enjoyed it except when her toad stool husband the pervert was around. I hated Gary with every pore of my being. Everyone hated Gary and I'd watch people look at him and snicker and laugh. HOW could she marry THAT?

Karin's creepy, fugly husband looked like a pervert in these tragic super super short shorts (you could always see his mushroom cap) and EIGHTIES BOAT SHOES. He was simply VILE and I would have to turn away, my retinas burning!
HOW could this creature have landed HER?
To this day I've not met a more disturbing combination of two people.
Beauty and the hideous wog beast.

Karin was a nice enough person to be around and I would listen to her tell her maids what to do and think, "Oh honey, look at you with the nannies and maids and a personal florist and hair dressers". She has two kids but I highly doubt Karin ever changed a diaper. I really can't see Karin anywhere near baby shit.
Karin was ALWAYS looking beautiful in the latest of the latest fashions. A Randolph Duke trench stopped traffic for a week in Potts Point when she arrived home after another whirl wind global fashion trip when she was Editor of Harper's Bazaar in Australia. She was our Anna Wintour for a while. Anna without money.

After a nice run at the Harper's job, Karin was ousted for being too old. (her replacement Vanessa sucked but crows feet are crows feet and they are NOT allowed at Harper's) But soon enough Karin took over at Hermes (which needed an massive overhaul).

Karin was cool, except for the complete loser whom she married.
Gary Baker has the personality of a toad stool (resembles one as well) and the fashion sense that literally made me re think life once.

Karin, you were stupid to leave everything to that moron to lose.
Why do you have to live around all that stuff?
Why are you such a snob?

He blew it and you blew him too, which shocks me more than anything......
And all your hard decades of fashion devotion are going down the crapper pipe along with your reputation as a smart business woman.

We are to believe that YOU, KARIN UPTON BAKER is a meek, feeble woman 'forced to sign documents'?
Wow, I thought you were a dynamo with two kids to protect.
Turns out your hideous husbands greed infected your very core and now you're paying the ultimate price.
You may lose it all.
Was it worth it?

I knew this was going to happen to you one day Karin because your husband had the WORST HOMOPHOBIC ENERGY of anyone I'd ever met and because there are no certainties when one is dealing with crisp new money!

Why did you marry such a NEANDERTHAL?
A homophobe of the worst order.

OMG.
Your only flaw Karin.
Your husband Gary.

Charice Grows Up

The new 'CHARICE'

Photographed by ASH CASTRO
Makeup by Jake Galvez
Hair by Buern Rodriguez

Outrage

Dear Brian

Omg, you have a wonderful story to read, its very touching and so full of heartfelt expressions. Best wishes to you and your bf, hopefully it will stay as long as your breath shall last. I really wish I could find the love of my life hehhehe. Well, I can't share my life story with someone so far away lol. Anyways, you have a point about acceptance... Read More of third sex individuals. Biblically speaking we cannot argue about it. It's like an end point, no more discussion, no more debate. But I really hope when people sees us for what we really are, they will realize that one of the gift God has given us is the "free agency" which means you can live life according to your choices and it so happen that we choose to live our life in this way because this is what we feel and on the other hand its the same thing with all of them. As long as we are good citizens of our respective community sexuality does not matter at all. We may confess our feelings in the same sex and be vocal about it but it does not mean it will make us any less of a person because all of us have the same feeling towards the person we love and admire either you are a man or a woman, or third sex. May we have the same idealism that we are all equal and we have all the rights together with all individuals in this world. Thanks for sharing your story. Have a nice day!

Outrage Magazine

(click to link to photo essay and interview)

Brian Gorrell@Twitter
(click to my Twitter)

Willie NOT Running!

It's Official.

Willie Revillame will NOT be running for 'higher' office next year.

It's a good thing because I'm not quite sure Willie needs to be any more powerful than he already is.

"Only Willie Revillame can walk into Establishment in shorts and slippers and get away with it." -Tim Yap

Erap's Budgie Smugglers

Image created by www.utakngtilapia.com

Sell The Vatican!

Oh Sarah, I LOVE you!

FINALLY!

Obama renews vow to end ban on gay people openly serving in the military

Obama Wins Nobel

Incredible!

POSITIVISM and Wanggo

The GORGEOUS Positivism Issue 2 Coverboy Wanggo Gallaga

Positivism Issue #2
(click to link)

OUT SOON! ISSUE #3

Light Weight Fashion

Ralph Lauren

Dear Readers,

I love reading about a bitch fight in the fashion world.
And this is going to be one of them.
Ralph Lauren has GREAT lawyers.

Huffpost-

There's a great blogosphere-battle brewing between website Boing Boing and clothier Ralph Lauren over an advertisement featuring a Ralph Lauren-clad woman photoshopped to impossible thinness.

The gauntlet was thrown when a Boing Boing blogger reproduced the ad with this succinct critique "Dude, her head's bigger than her pelvis."

Instead of addressing this disturbing, and accurate, criticism, Ralph Lauren responded by accusing Boing Boing of copyright infringement for reprinting the ad. Even though, As Boing Boing points out, this is "classic fair use: a reproduction 'for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting.'"

Happily, Boing Boing will not be cowed by Ralph Lauren's threat, as co-editor Cory Doctorow makes clear:

So, instead of responding to their legal threat by suppressing our criticism of their marketing images, we're gonna mock them. Hence this post.

Other strategies for battling Ralph Lauren Doctorow plans to employ include: reproducing the ad with the original criticism, publishing Ralph Lauren's legal threats and offering "nourishing soup and sandwiches to [their] models."

sourced @ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

UPDATE!

Ralph Lauren has issued an apology, the Daily Mail reports

A spokesman for Ralph Lauren said last night: 'For over 42 years, we have built a brand based on quality and integrity.

'After further investigation, we have learned that we are responsible for the poor imaging and retouching that resulted in a very distorted image of a woman's body.

'We have addressed the problem and going forward will take every precaution to ensure that the calibre of our artwork represents our brand appropriately.'

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/09/emboing-boingem-and-ralph_n_311593.html

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/06/emboing-boingem-and-ralph_n_311593.html

A Real Inspiration

Efren Peñaflorida


'CNN Heroes' nominee Efren Peñaflorida is Pinoy.
Please read about this amazing Filipino.
And vote for a real hero.
Efren Peñaflorida deserves this award.

VOTE for a REAL hero!!
(PLEASE click to link to one step voting)

Gods Gay

“God made me gay so I am His glorious creation, born of His eye and His magnificent heart. It’s as simple as that. I’m living the life God wanted me to live – a life full of love, consideration, and deep compassion for others who may need some education, information, assistance, and, of course, comfort. I have a sense of duty to live the life God wanted me to live. A life to serve others the best way I know how. My challenge is to live God’s will, and to make Him proud of me.”- Brian Shane Gorrell

Outrage Magazine
(please click to photo's and interview)

Brian Gorrell@Twitter
(click my Twitter)

Naked Outrage

The Power of Words.

Initially making a name because of the so-called Gucci Gang (yes, that controversy involving the socialites/social climbers of Metro Manila, e.g. Celine Lopez, Tim Yap and DJ Montano), Brian Shane Gorrell has long become a staunch advocate of HIV and AIDS - mainly through his Web site (over 30 million hits, and counting), which he now uses to spread sexual health awareness, what, to this date, remains a major need in the Philippines, considering that up to 29 Filipinos are estimated to be infected with HIV every month (since 2008). Such efforts as Gorrell's have now become the major ways of increasing HIV awareness.

Outrage Magazine
(click to link to photo essay and interview)

Brian Gorrell@Twitter
(click to my Twitter)

My New Look Multiply

My Refreshed Multiply Site
(click link to join my Multiply site)
Thanks Papa